Understand your new dog’s core needs for better behavior and communication.
When I spent time observing wolves in the wild, I was gifted with a whole new way of understanding not only wolves but also dogs. I learned so much and was humbled to realize how honest wolves and dogs are with their communication of their needs with each other.
People are less comfortable advertising their needs. The last thing anyone wants is to be called needy. Yet, the more I studied relationships among people, I realized that behind any behavior that people and dogs have, there’s at least one core need that is begging to be fulfilled.
Misunderstanding behavior, Dogs never have a hidden agenda. All they want is to satisfy their Seven Core Needs: security, spontaneity, companionship, love and connection, hierarchy, physical stimulation, and mental stimulation. (Read “Seven Core Needs” on last page to read more.). They may go about satisfying these needs in a doggie way or in a well-mannered way. When I meet a dog who is labeled as having a problem or as a “bad dog,” I start by looking at what Core Need the dog is trying to meet at dog training in Los Angeles.
The Core Needs go beyond food and shelter, and all dogs, regardless of size or breed, share the same Core Needs. The difference is how much of each one of the seven needs they need, and if their needs match their owner’s needs. Often times, when I’m called to help a badly behaving doggie, I find a situation where the dog’s and the owner’s needs are in conflict.
Frenchie connection
I was hired by first-time dog owners to help train their 3-month-old French bulldog puppy. She was awesome, and they were in love with how she looked. Then, her adolescence hit around 6 months, and she became “aggressive.” The wife, crying, said she couldn’t believe how her little girl became so bad. I explained to her that the behavior she called “aggressive” was simply an invitation to play, bond and have fun — typical for a Frenchie.
I came to find that the owner wanted a doggie that was cute but wasn’t a ball of energy; She wanted to cuddle and baby the puppy, but the puppy wanted to play rough games like tug-of-war. The interesting part was that they both wanted to meet the same Core Need: the need for love and connection.
Knowing this, not only was the owner able to change her expectations, we expanded the type of games and activities the Frenchie engaged in, which in return made her calmer and sweeter to live with.
Find out first
Understanding the why behind any behavior is the first step to understanding those you care about. Make it a game to understand what need (or needs) your dog is trying to meet. Play it throughout the day, and play it with kids.
SIDEBAR-Your Dog’s Seven Core Needs
- Sense of security:
Dogs, just like people, need certainty to feel safe. They need stability and predictability to not be on alert or worry all the time.
- Excitement and surprises
Too much predictability is not fun for anyone. It becomes like the movie Groundhog Day. A change in the routine is a must: change their food, change the treats that you use, vary the locations of your outings and so on.
- Companionship
Being related to wolves, a dog needs to be part of a pack. They can’t live life socially, physically or emotionally alone. Allowing your dog to be near you while you are busy working is not companionship. Actually doing things together that your dog enjoys — like playing tug-of-war and fetch, hiking together or cuddling on the couch — are more like it.
- Love and connection
Research shows that dogs are emotionally and developmentally similar to human toddlers. They need what psychologists call “secure attachment”: they feel so loved and safe at all times even when they are away from you.
- Understanding the hierarchy
A dog needs to feel that he has a leader so he can relax instead of making sure everything is OK. That leader is you so what kind of leader do you want to be? There’s the leadership style of Saddam Hussain who tried to dominate everyone by making them submissive to him, and there’s the leadership style of Gandhi who empowered the people to be what they never imagined they could be. Do you want your dog to be submissive and afraid, or do you want him to be all that he can be?
- Physical stimulation
A tired dog is a happy dog. It’s unrealistic to expect a dog that slept all day while you were at work to be calm and content when you come home at night. A dog needs to run and play, preferably in nature, on a hike or off-leash with other dogs.
- Mental stimulation
Growing and learning is what keeps humans sharp. It’s the same for dogs. Most dogs are taught maybe five to 10 words when they are capable of learning at least 150 words. So many unwanted behaviors like chewing, barking and digging, stem from boredom and not being sufficiently mentally stimulated.
SIDEBAR
13 Ways to Help Your Dog Reach His Potential
- Celebrate the little successes. Even if it’s as small as drinking water or eating, be your dog’s cheerleader! You’ll boost her confidence and make her feel that she’s a rock star!
- Praise your dog not only when she obeys a command but also when she isn’t misbehaving. For example, say “Good shush,” when your dog doesn’t barking when she normally does.
- Expand your dog’s vocabulary. Avoid saying “Good dog,” and instead say “Good sit,” “Good come,” and so on. Dogs can learn up to 150 words on average.
- When you teach your new doggie to come when called, do not call for reasons she would interpret as not fun. Convince your dog that it’s an incredibly fun experience leaving whatever they are doing and coming to you when called.
- Say your dog’s name only when talking to your dog, and never when talking about your dog. Give her a nickname. Keep her name sacred and special!
- Do not give attention (looking, talking or touching) for behaviors you don’t like such as jumping on you, barking at you and begging for food while you eat. Oftentimes, you can stop unwanted behavior simply by looking away or turning away. Most people don’t realize this before doggy day camp in Santa Monica and instead stop whatever they’re doing and look at their dog.
- Have a spectrum of rewards, from gold-level rewards to bronze-level rewards. Use healthy human protein-based treats.
- Have a spectrum of toys, from gold-level toys to bronze-level toys.
- Divide your dog’s toys into two categories: play toys (tennis balls, blush toys, plastic toys) and chew toys: antlers, raw marrow bone, Bully stick, Busy Buddy.
- Create a love map: Observe your new dog and see what she likes as far as toys, games, ways to be touched, activities and so on.
- Love on your dog often. Stroke her face slowly, lovingly look into her eyes as you smile sincerely. Connect with your dog as the angel that she is and not just as a fun buddy to have around. They need the fun, playful connection with you as well as the soft and soulful connection. Say “chillax” when you connect with them quietly.
- You can make your own rules as far as what is OK and not OK for your dog. For example, you might decide it’s OK for your dog to jump on the couch but not on your bed. There’s no “normal.” What is most important to you when you think about sharing your life with a dog?
- Condition your dog to be touched abruptly by strangers without being scared. Life is full of surprises and unexpected situations and people. Use gold-level treats while grabbing your dog unexpectedly and saying happily the word “Courage”.
